Carol & Paul
Big Day: 20 Jun 2009 • Countdown: 296 days
Bridezilla A-Z
JUST FOR FUN
(This is not a true reflection of bride or groom.......not yet anyway!!!!)
A is for Accommodation
We have been too busy deciding on all the important details like matching colours to worry about your accommodation. If you need somewhere to stay, ring directory enquiries or somewhere to ask for hotels in the area.
B is for Bar
If you want to drink at the reception there will be a cash bar. We are not providing wine on the table because it is expensive and it is minging. We will be providing water free of charge but all other drinks you will have to pay for yourselves. PLEASE NOTE: we are paying for this ourselves and we do not want people getting too **, please remember it is our day and we don't want it ruined. If you get really ** we will have to ask you to leave.
C is for Cars and Ceremony
We have got a beautiful car to take us to the reception, I can't wait. We are not providing transport to the reception for guests without cars, may we suggest that you sort it out yourselves. If you are late to the ceremony then you won't be allowed to come in.
D is for Dancing
When the bride and groom take their first dance, please may I remind you this is our dance not yours. May we request that nobody else is on the dance floor after all it is my day not yours.
E is for Evening Guests
When you arrive, before buying a drink at the bar you must come and find us and say hello and give us our present. After all we are paying for this reception and it is only fair that you say hello as it is our day.
F is for Food
We have decided upon a menu that we like, there are no other options. If you are vegetarian we suggest you just eat the vegetables.
G is for Gift
We are not having a gift list but we want money instead. We will have a list at the reception with all guests names on it you must write how much money you have given so we know who to be nice to and send a thank you card and keep on our Christmas card list.
H is for Hats
We want our wedding to look like a posh do, so all lady guests must wear fashionable hats.
I is for Important People
May I just remind guests that it is my day and I am the most important person.
J is for jolly people
Please make sure you are smiling, we are spending a small fortune on this wedding and we don't want our photographer getting a photo of you looking miserable. After all he's costing us an arm and a leg and the least you could do is look like you're enjoying yourself.
K is for Kids
No kids allowed, we don't want them crying and ruining our day.
L is for Lost
If you get lost it is your problem, please don't expect me to sort it out on the day because I will have more important things to do like having my nails done.
M is for Money
Please make sure you bring some, we won't be carrying money and will need you to buy us drinks. After what we have arranged for you, we feel it is the least you could do.
N is for No Smoking
There is no smoking inside the venue for all guests except the bride. The venue has kindly let me smoke inside, after all I don't want to be standing outside in the cold having a fag in my dress do I?
O is for Outfits
I will not tolerate female guests who turn up in white, ivory, cream outfits. If you do this it means you are sad and want to be the bride. I will ban anybody who turns up in an outfit in any of these colours - you will be made to go and change.
P is for Photos
If you are in a photo make sure you smile we don't want miserable guests at our wedding.
Q is for Queen
We've invited her so she might be coming.
'today I am more important than the queen and don't you forget it!'
R is for RSVP
If you don't RSVP by the date given we will not reserve you a place at the reception. You will still be able to come to the church but will have to go elsewhere for the reception (there is a kebab shop nearby).
S is for Speeches
If you would like to make a speech congratulating the bride on a wonderful wedding please let me know in advance so I can add your name to the list.
T is for Taxis
Sort your own out.
U is for Umbrellas
Don't bring umbrellas, if it's raining just get wet plus they ruin the photos.
V is for Venereal Diseases
Make sure you've got a clean bill of health if you plan on getting your leg over. I don't want people saying they went to our wedding and came away with the clap.
W is for Wedding
Our special day.
X is for X rated
Get a room.
Y is for Yes
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.. if you hear this coming from our room, do not disturb.
Z is for Zzzzzzzzz
Make sure you get plenty of sleep the night before we don't want anyone yawning on our wedding photos
(Whatever you like)!!!
(This is not a true reflection of bride or groom.......not yet anyway!!!!)
A is for Accommodation
We have been too busy deciding on all the important details like matching colours to worry about your accommodation. If you need somewhere to stay, ring directory enquiries or somewhere to ask for hotels in the area.
B is for Bar
If you want to drink at the reception there will be a cash bar. We are not providing wine on the table because it is expensive and it is minging. We will be providing water free of charge but all other drinks you will have to pay for yourselves. PLEASE NOTE: we are paying for this ourselves and we do not want people getting too **, please remember it is our day and we don't want it ruined. If you get really ** we will have to ask you to leave.
C is for Cars and Ceremony
We have got a beautiful car to take us to the reception, I can't wait. We are not providing transport to the reception for guests without cars, may we suggest that you sort it out yourselves. If you are late to the ceremony then you won't be allowed to come in.
D is for Dancing
When the bride and groom take their first dance, please may I remind you this is our dance not yours. May we request that nobody else is on the dance floor after all it is my day not yours.
E is for Evening Guests
When you arrive, before buying a drink at the bar you must come and find us and say hello and give us our present. After all we are paying for this reception and it is only fair that you say hello as it is our day.
F is for Food
We have decided upon a menu that we like, there are no other options. If you are vegetarian we suggest you just eat the vegetables.
G is for Gift
We are not having a gift list but we want money instead. We will have a list at the reception with all guests names on it you must write how much money you have given so we know who to be nice to and send a thank you card and keep on our Christmas card list.
H is for Hats
We want our wedding to look like a posh do, so all lady guests must wear fashionable hats.
I is for Important People
May I just remind guests that it is my day and I am the most important person.
J is for jolly people
Please make sure you are smiling, we are spending a small fortune on this wedding and we don't want our photographer getting a photo of you looking miserable. After all he's costing us an arm and a leg and the least you could do is look like you're enjoying yourself.
K is for Kids
No kids allowed, we don't want them crying and ruining our day.
L is for Lost
If you get lost it is your problem, please don't expect me to sort it out on the day because I will have more important things to do like having my nails done.
M is for Money
Please make sure you bring some, we won't be carrying money and will need you to buy us drinks. After what we have arranged for you, we feel it is the least you could do.
N is for No Smoking
There is no smoking inside the venue for all guests except the bride. The venue has kindly let me smoke inside, after all I don't want to be standing outside in the cold having a fag in my dress do I?
O is for Outfits
I will not tolerate female guests who turn up in white, ivory, cream outfits. If you do this it means you are sad and want to be the bride. I will ban anybody who turns up in an outfit in any of these colours - you will be made to go and change.
P is for Photos
If you are in a photo make sure you smile we don't want miserable guests at our wedding.
Q is for Queen
We've invited her so she might be coming.
'today I am more important than the queen and don't you forget it!'
R is for RSVP
If you don't RSVP by the date given we will not reserve you a place at the reception. You will still be able to come to the church but will have to go elsewhere for the reception (there is a kebab shop nearby).
S is for Speeches
If you would like to make a speech congratulating the bride on a wonderful wedding please let me know in advance so I can add your name to the list.
T is for Taxis
Sort your own out.
U is for Umbrellas
Don't bring umbrellas, if it's raining just get wet plus they ruin the photos.
V is for Venereal Diseases
Make sure you've got a clean bill of health if you plan on getting your leg over. I don't want people saying they went to our wedding and came away with the clap.
W is for Wedding
Our special day.
X is for X rated
Get a room.
Y is for Yes
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.. if you hear this coming from our room, do not disturb.
Z is for Zzzzzzzzz
Make sure you get plenty of sleep the night before we don't want anyone yawning on our wedding photos
(Whatever you like)!!!
by Carol & Paul